Sweet revenge
by Ahlam
Summary: Just when draco thinks the day couldn't possibly get worse, some idiot makes a prank on him. He has no choice but to take revenge, sweet revnge! R&R plz
1. distorting image

**Author's note:** _This is my first attempt in comedy. Here it goes.  
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**Disclaimer:** _I don't own the fiction Harry Potter nor do I own any of the characters.  
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Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Flint sat around in the common room looking grim. After their disappointing loss to Hufflepuff in the Quidditch match all they seemed to do was sit in their common room sulking in hope that someone might come up with something cheerful. 'Lets have happy thought?' said Draco.  
  
'How about Fluffy bunnies getting run over by horse carriage,' suggested Flint. They all sat there imagining the gruesome scene and an evil grin crossed their faces. Grabbe and Goyle laughed while Draco cackled. Flint however was not impressed with his lame line though it did put a smirk on his for 10 seconds.  
  
Sunset came to an end and the sky became dark and bleak. Heavy raindrops banged on the windows of the boys' dormitory. Draco changed into his velvet pyjamas. He loved the way the soft silky fabric rubbed against his pale body. He also insisted that it gave him plenty of room for his little soldier to salute when it was appropriate.  
  
Draco twisted and turned on his bed trying his best to ignore the loud snoring coming from Crabbe's bed. He wasn't sure how he would be able to look his best in the morning if he didn't get enough beauty sleep.  
  
He tried everything to get to sleep but nothing worked. It suddenly became obvious to Draco what he had to do to get to sleep because no charm was ever going to work. He grabbed a Magical Creature's book that had the title, Love for the wild by Reawyn Mauve. Within reading a line on Sphinx, the dark ink started to become a blur and his temples gently throbbed. The more he read the more his eyes became drowsy. Within seconds Draco was pulled into a pitfall of darkness...  
  
...Once again Draco was woken up by the ghastly snore escaping from Crabbe's gob. He sometimes wondered how Goyle could sleep like a baby without even noticing that every time Crabbe was asleep all the creatures hibernate from the noise.  
  
It was obvious to Draco that he would not be able to sleep any longer so he jolted up from his bed and headed towards the toilet.  
  
The constant running tap made Draco feel aware of how much he actually needed to piss. He dropped the brush he was holding and rushed to the toilet. 'Aaaah!' signed Draco.  
  
He stood in front of the mirror admiring his lean figure. He brushed his pale blond hair. He tried a side plait but it made him look like a geek all he needed was a pair of glasses. After experimenting with dozens of style he decided he looked good having his hair brushed backwards. However this did not last long, blond strands kept falling to his fore head. He had no choice but to use charm. Every day he went through the same routine but never got bored looking at his reflection.  
  
Draco grinned at his reflection and winked at himself "Looking sexy!' he uttered. Draco walked out of the toilet and into the bathroom where he had forgotten his towel. The dripping of the shower continued and Goyle walked out of the shower, a small towel around his waist. Goyle turned around and bent down to pick up the brush he had dropped, but stood up wearing nothing.  
  
Draco who was staring at Goyle screamed. 'Cover yourself!' he uttered. Even though Draco only saw his back side it was still distrusting. Goyle quickly picked up his towel and turned around looking slightly flushed. Draco thought he was embarrassed but after his next words he thought other wise. 'My front bit is better. It's grown a couple of centimetres,' said Goyle looking quite proud. 'If I wanted to see a real man's equipment I would have looked at myself!' screeched Draco. 


	2. Boxers

_**Author's note:** I would to thank all those who reviewed, here it goes.  
  
**Queen of Darkness:** It's nice to be told that I have a good sense of humor.  
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_**Meh:** Thanks for the correction I will bare that in mind for next time. Though it might be an idea to read the story cause it might not have such bad spelling mistakes.  
  
**Palmetazo:** Yes the idea was to make it slightly disturbing and thanks to see you found a sense of humor in it.  
  
**Disclaimer:** It came to me as a total astonishment to hear that I was not the genius behind the creation of Harry Potter. NO! Why couldn't they let me fantasies...Anyways I am not the mastermind behind Harry Potter and solemnly swear not to steal it._

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Draco's day had gone from bad to worst in less than an hour. He found it immensely hard to believe this. I mean he had the looks! And the intelligence, o.k. he wasn't sure about that intelligence but surely looks was more than enough. He was woken up by the familiar snoring escaping from Crabbe's gob. If that wasn't bad enough he saw Goyle naked. No! Seriously he was wearing nothing though Draco did see him from the back side it was an experience that would torment him for ever!  
  
Draco walked towards the great hall, his eyes feeling groggily and tired. He wasn't sure if it was because he didn't have enough sleep or the experience of seeing one of his best friend's nude. Draco shrugged of the mortifying subject and focused his thoughts on something else.  
  
Students lingered past him some winking at him and others giggling beneath their breaths. Wow! Do I get hotter by the day or what?! Thought Draco. The grin fixed upon his pale face stretched so that you could almost see the molars at the back of his mouth.  
  
Funny it was how with few attentions from the girls and Draco was more awake than ever and happier. His eyes seemed to be bulging out of place and he looked high, as though he had a couple puffs of weed before making his usual way down to the great hall.  
  
'Draco are you the new designer?' asked Ginny, an evil smirk playing on her face.  
  
'With my looks I think I am qualified,' he beamed, not catching her drift. The tint of sweetness in his voice made Ginny shiver but she ignored it.  
  
'If that is the case, you ain't ever gonna get there!' smiled Ginny.  
  
'Weasley, there really is no need for jealousy. Not everyone is fortunate to have the looks and the brains,' sneered Draco.  
  
Ginny who was half way of chewing on a piece of toast spat it out almost choking on it. 'Brains? Who the hell are you kidding Malfoy? You have the brain the size of a pea. Wait a minute, I'm insulting the poor pea!' she sniggered. She loitered past him, half skipping with excitement.  
  
Draco clenched his fist. Where the hell are my useless shadows? He thought referring to his friends Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
Draco entered the great hall and the smell of melted butter on a golden crispy piece of toast lingered towards his nostril. Draco inhaled and found himself half drooling but quickly managed to suck back the saliva.  
  
Laughter's and giggles escaped from the Gryffindor table as he walked past. Draco kept his head up and sat on the Slytherin table. He shoved down a piece of toast and gulped a strong cup of coffee. 'Sweet heavenly taste of Doëco,' uttered Draco, as he inhaled the smell of coffee. The strong caffeine made his mind tickle with stimulation.  
  
Breakfast had come to an end and Draco stood up from the table. He loitered towards the door, but was stopped by the loud screeching laughter escaping from the four tables. Draco spun around only to find that everyone was laughing at him.  
  
'Draco, that boxes is really sexy!' hissed Fred.  
  
'What?' questioned Draco. The look on his face is more entertaining than his boxers, but not quite thought George.  
  
'You are wearing those boxes your grandma bought you, because she wanted you to get in touch with your feminine side,' whispered Crabbe. 'And your robe has a massive hole in the back revealing it,' continued Crabbe still whispering.  
  
Draco gently turned his head so he was looking at his own back side. He found himself glaring at his white boxes with juicy red lips drawn on it and pink flowers, also it had the words sexy, kiss me and feel me scattered on it.  
  
Draco's pale face had now become even paler. This is revenge for the idiot who did this! He thought. Suddenly it accured to him who it might be Ginny!


	3. talking cat?

**Authors note: **_Here are my thanks to those faithful reviewers.  
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**Mrs wOOd nd malfOy:** _Thanks you for finding my story funny!_

**Lizzy Fizzy:** _You wanted a new chap well here it is._

**oOweasleywizardwheezeOo:** _Yes you would be confused, it was actually Goyle who dropped his towel. I have corrected the mistake sorry about that. And yes i'm sure draco would look real good in pink boxer._

**pixieballerina:** _You found it funny, yeah!_

**Sacagawea:**_ I know Draco is born to be a god of all looks, lol! No problem about reviewing your story._

**Disclaimer:** _I know I don't own the fiction, geez people I said I wouldn't steal it!  
_

Ginny made Ron and Harry repeat the episode of Draco and his boxers. She honestly didn't think it would go that well. Draco should have seen it coming. Did he honestly think that he would humiliate her in front of her heartthrob (Harry) and expect her to do nothing about it?  
  
Draco rushed to the slytherin Common room holding a silver plate over his ass, hiding his boxers. His face flushed and his eyes dogged back and forth. When I get that good for nothing red head I'm gonna kill her personally! Thought Draco. He entered the slytherin common room and headed towards the boy's dormitory. He picked out a velvet robe and rushed back down towards potion. Draco was amazed that his fellow Slytherin's weren't doing anything about his accident, little did he know...  
  
He watched Snape's greasy hair walk past, even the grim professor seemed to find Draco's boxers quite intriguing. Lavender and Parvati who had also seen his boxers could not keep their eyes off his ass. 'I want to touch it, it looks nice and firm,' whispered Lavender.  
  
'No you can't touch his ass,' replied Parvati. Draco ignored their comment and concentrated on his potion. Constant mummers echoed in the class room. Draco couldn't take it any longer. Before he could restrain himself his mouth opened. 'Yes! My boxer was sexy and it makes me look damn hot! So I suggest you all stop sulking. Jealousy is a bitter thing you know.'  
  
'Yeah!' howled Lavender and Parvati.  
  
'Keep your fantasies in your mind I am not ready to have distorting images! 40 points off Gryffindor,' came Snape's icy voice.  
  
'Malfoy I don't want outburst like that. If you think you are sexy enough enter the magical model contest but when you're in my lesson everything you say and do is potion!' said the professor a smirk plying on his face.  
  
The potion lesson came to an end. Draco walked down the isolated corridor trying to think of any evil ideas. Kill her! Said an insane voice at the back of mind No! Too gentle he whispered to himself.  
  
'Hey Blondie!' said a voice.  
  
'What?!' snapped Draco.  
  
'Over here!'  
  
'Why the hell are you hiding for?' cracked Draco.  
  
'I'm not hiding you stupid good for nothing prick. I'm down here!' continued the voice. Draco looked down and found himself staring at a black cat. He sniggered and started to walk away. 'Who do you think you are, walking away from me?!' yelled the cat.  
  
Draco's eyes almost popped out as he witnessed the cat's mouth moving. 'Animals don't talk!' uttered Draco.  
  
'Yes we do,' replied the cat.  
  
'No you don't'  
  
'Yes we do'  
  
'No you don't'  
  
'Aah! Shut up blondie! I need your help...argg!' Draco watched as the cat coughed and heaved. Suddenly something came tumbling down his gob. 'Hair ball,' grinned the cat.  
  
'That is sick!' uttered Draco. 'What do you want? I have things to destroy, people to annoy and place's to attend,' continued Draco. If Draco hadn't known any better he could have sworn the cat frowned, but he brushed the thought, Cats don't frown! He told himself.  
  
'I'm trying to find my ginger hunny bunny!' explained the cat.  
  
'How did you manage to find some one willing enough to go out with such an ugly cat?' sneered Draco  
  
'I am very wild I tell you. Ladies find me sleek and sexy! Yeah baby! The things I get up to in the dark would surprise you...'  
  
'I don't wanna know!' snapped Draco.  
  
'O.k. well she is ginger and has an attitude, she is slightly chubby, but that ain't her fault!' described the cat.  
  
'Crooshanks!' smirked Draco, he tried his best not to laugh but he just couldn't help himself. His cackle traveled down the corridor and vibrated off the walls.  
  
'Crooshanks! What fucking fool gave my baby such a hideous name, I bet you it's those Gryffindor. If I were a being I would kill them with my good looks,' said the cat.  
  
'Yeah sure! I lack brain cells but I'm not blind hence why I'm not wearing glasses,' mumbled Draco. 'I don't like the idea of talking to a foul mouth cat so I'll help you find that pathetic excuse for a cat and you help me get even with the red haired Ginny.'  
  
'Ginny, what a divine goddess sent from up above,' dreamed the cat.  
  
'You know her?' questioned Draco.  
  
'Yes! She is some thing I tell you. Once I caught her in the shower wearing nothing...' started the cat.  
  
'I don't wanna know about it, I go for pretty girls not ginger sprouts!' muttered Draco. 'Can cats get orgasm?' continued Draco.  
  
'How do you think we end up reproducing!' uttered the cat in a more of a fact sort of way.  
  
'I am way too good looking and cunning for that matter to be talking to a fur ball so excuse me while I find that pathetic excuse for a cat and get back to my revenge,' said Draco. Just thinking about his evil idea caused a wide grin to play on his pale face.  
  
'Hey don't insult my hunny bunny, you...' Draco did not bother to listen any more. If he personally had the choice he would have pulled out the cats legs and given to one of Hagrid's ugly creature that he insisted were adorable.


	4. Bad odor

_**Author's note:** I would like to thank those faithful reviewers:_

_**oOweasleywizardwheezesOo:** I was deciding whether i should make the cat horny and my friend was like 'yea why not'. Sick cat i know!_

_**mrs wOOd nd malfOy:** The cat is a horny freak that's why it keeps calling Crooshanks hunny bunny. Don't we all wish we could see Draco in boxer._

_**Amourlily:** Thank you for thinking it was funny. This chap is for you!_

_**Queen of darkness:** Once again thanks for complimenting my humor._

_**Malfoy's babe:** You know so many reviewers said i was funny, i'm even starting to believe it myself. Short, i didn't think it was that short. I'll try to do something about it._

_**Mr MooMoo's unnamed Minion:** Thanks for the review. As horny and annoying the cat is, he will tie in neatly later on._

_**Kimmy-Kitty:** It was a pleasure to read your fanfic. Yes the story went a bit disturbing, soz for that._

_**Smrt cids:** How can i possibly think i'm half as funny as other writers, they are experinced. Anyways thanks for the review._

_**Ya salam:** You are one of those people who speak slag i'm guessing from the whole 'bare'. Nonetheless thanks for the review._

_**Disclaimer:** I don not own Harry Potter so need to get the police involved.  
  
_Draco lingered carelessly, his velvet robe swayed from side to side. _That cat was dirty!_ Thought Draco and his mind drifted back to the cat but quickly tried to focus on the next important thing. Draco was using all the brain cells he had, to try and find something humiliating for the ginger sprout.

xXx

Ginny who had discovered the wonders of muggle technology got a CD player and some CDs from Hermione. However she lacked good taste in music. She sat in the Gryffindor common room nodding along to _Toxic_ by _Britney Spears_.

'Baby can't you see?

I'm falling,

A guy like you should wear a warning, You're dangerous...'

floated Ginny's irritating voice down the crowded common room. 'You can't sing, so why do you have to suffocate us?!' yelled Dean.

'My ears are bleeding!' screeched Seamus. Loud roaring laughter echoed and filled the common room. 'I'm being serious!' screamed Seamus. Laughter's died out gently and Dean spoke out 'You see Ginny, that is how bad your singing really is.' Ginny ignored their denote comments and she actually believed that she had a voice of an angel.  
  
Draco walked into the Gryffindor common room after some difficult persuasion from the fat lady. Neville who held a glass globe dropped it and the crashing noise vibrated of the wall. The common room fell silent and all eyes were fixed on Draco. No one bothered to say anything because they were too shocked to see the proud slytherin set foot in their common room.  
  
'Hey Ginny, I have a surprise for you. I have done so much thinking and research and felt you deserved the very best,' uttered Draco. Ginny's mouth was so wide open Draco was almost sure flies had nested.  
  
'What do you want?!' brawled Ginny. Just the look on her face made Draco beam and his eyes twinkled with insanity. This revenge was bound to be more successful then he thought. Draco lowered his head and murmured a spell. He lifted his head gently and looked at her.  
  
'You are mentally disturbed!' said Ginny.  
  
'So is Voldermort but look how far he got,' replied Draco, the beam still playing on his pale face. Almost all the Gryffindor's gasped at the name of the dark lord.  
  
Fart! Escaped from Ginny. The room fell in silence once again and the bad smell of the fart loitered. Draco who was already prepared for this, left. The spell was bound to work as planned and even be more succesful. 'Sorry,' whispered Ginny, her face becoming scarlet.  
  
Fart! Fart! Fart! Continued and no matter how hard Ginny tried to hold it she just found it more difficult. Students started to pour out of the common room, even Ginny could not bear to inhale the unbearable smell of her own fart, she decided she would go outside.  
  
Walking down the corridor was a lot worse than being in the common room. Ginny who thought the fart had worn off after not farting for 30 seconds relaxed. Ffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttttt! The bad odor exploded down the corridor and students ran for their life's. The fart became faster, stinker and much louder.  
  
Ginny's ears glowered and all she wished was to be swallowed by hell. She walked down the corridor and headed towards the hospital wing. No one was any where to be seen. As she arrived at the hospital wing, madame Pomfrey said 'I'm sorry dear there is nothing that can be done. The injured ones need rest, do you mind going?'  
  
Ginny had never in her life been humiliated. The castle was isolated and no one was to be seen apart from Ginny. 'This is the start of twisted revenge!' screamed ginny and her voice echoed down the corridor...


End file.
